The Gaming Den

So, I've been posting some on the escapist. I've had an account for years, but never posted.

A few observations:

1. By gaming den standards, I'm a horrible misogynist. By Escapist standards, I'm a white knight. I find that both amusing and terrifying (mostly that my second passion, video games, is made up of men more broken than I am...)

2. I've already received a warning for posting images. Don't do that on the Escapist.

EDIT: I questioned the warning on the image I posted via the link they gave me to dispute warnings, and they added another warning to my account. If the cocksuckers want to play that way, I just won't post there, as I do not accept their authority.

More alignment based annoyance in my RL game.

I asked my friends what they thought about Lahm's Finger Darts (from BoVD), a spell in which the caster fires their fingers (1 at base, +1/3 levels above 1st) at a target doing dex damage at 1d4/finger, since my wizard hit level 3 and I have to pick two new spells.

After I realized that one friend was misreading my summation and suggesting Magic Missile instead (which he's been shitting on me since the start of the game for not taking because apparently 1d4+1/4 levels auto-damage is THA BEST THING EVAH!), and re-explained, he (playing the healer of the group) said "I'm not going to cast lesser restoration on you after you use that spell, because firing body parts at people is something undead and necromancers do. I'm willing to ignore it rather than kill you because you've been beneficial in the past."

He's saying this to a player whose wizard jumped into a chasm that, as far as the character knew, had a decent chance of killing him with fall damage, just so he could get in range to use burning hands and not let his party get rocked by some giths.

This is bullshit, and it's pretty much the reason I play evil. Evil is pragmatic and acts on knowledge, while good acts like a fucking clan member, acting on image, and basically implying "I'm only not killing you because you're a useful negro. For now."

Huh. I guess the whole, "I find it squicky, thus it's Evil" argument really does get traction IRL.

Prak_Anima wrote:More alignment based annoyance in my RL game.

I asked my friends what they thought about Lahm's Finger Darts (from BoVD), a spell in which the caster fires their fingers (1 at base, +1/3 levels above 1st) at a target doing dex damage at 1d4/finger, since my wizard hit level 3 and I have to pick two new spells.

After I realized that one friend was misreading my summation and suggesting Magic Missile instead (which he's been shitting on me since the start of the game for not taking because apparently 1d4+1/4 levels auto-damage is THA BEST THING EVAH!), and re-explained, he (playing the healer of the group) said "I'm not going to cast lesser restoration on you after you use that spell, because firing body parts at people is something undead and necromancers do. I'm willing to ignore it rather than kill you because you've been beneficial in the past."

He's saying this to a player whose wizard jumped into a chasm that, as far as the character knew, had a decent chance of killing him with fall damage, just so he could get in range to use burning hands and not let his party get rocked by some giths.

This is bullshit, and it's pretty much the reason I play evil. Evil is pragmatic and acts on knowledge, while good acts like a fucking clan member, acting on image, and basically implying "I'm only not killing you because you're a useful negro. For now."

1.) What alignment is he? Because letting people die just because you have a stereotyped view of necromancers is not 'good' in my book. Aren't good people supposed to be about understanding and forgiveness and shit?

2.) Why in the world are you guys even adventuring together? The guy more or less said he treats you as an enemy, just one he's holding back on "for now".

3.) If he doesn't use restoration on you, kill him while he sleeps. Then animate his corpse. That'll learn him.

Yep. I'm seeing what they think of me taking Mother Cyst (LM) so they can carry encysted spiders and I can detect/scry if we get split up.

I predict a similar reaction.

Heh, this reminds me of my halfling illusionist who aspired to be a Pale Master, as he labored under the leadership of our shield-wielding Paladin party leader, Captain Arkadia, (as we hailed from the kingdom of Arkadia) among other Good aligned party members who were intentionally oblivious.

The bestest thing ever was me getting this magic item from the Sunless Citadel.



I wasn't given the item description and as usual for all our campaigns, we were too poor to afford the pearl component to identify our few magic items. Anywho the DM thought it was 1/day rather than 1/week (and he also failed to recall/enforce the grave-requirement), so after I finally discovered it what it did by blowing it in a room with some corpses, I was using it all the time.

It was like this, every session.

Except I said I was using my Command Undead spell rather than confessing to creating the undead.


But one day we random encountered upon some giant alligators or somesuch, and after killing one, I said it was unconscious and "treated its wounds". So I got my zombigator ride as I spun my tale of having befriended it after healing it. Good times roared on.

PoliteNewb wrote:

Prak_Anima wrote:More alignment based annoyance in my RL game.

I asked my friends what they thought about Lahm's Finger Darts (from BoVD), a spell in which the caster fires their fingers (1 at base, +1/3 levels above 1st) at a target doing dex damage at 1d4/finger, since my wizard hit level 3 and I have to pick two new spells.

After I realized that one friend was misreading my summation and suggesting Magic Missile instead (which he's been shitting on me since the start of the game for not taking because apparently 1d4+1/4 levels auto-damage is THA BEST THING EVAH!), and re-explained, he (playing the healer of the group) said "I'm not going to cast lesser restoration on you after you use that spell, because firing body parts at people is something undead and necromancers do. I'm willing to ignore it rather than kill you because you've been beneficial in the past."

He's saying this to a player whose wizard jumped into a chasm that, as far as the character knew, had a decent chance of killing him with fall damage, just so he could get in range to use burning hands and not let his party get rocked by some giths.

This is bullshit, and it's pretty much the reason I play evil. Evil is pragmatic and acts on knowledge, while good acts like a fucking clan member, acting on image, and basically implying "I'm only not killing you because you're a useful negro. For now."

1.) What alignment is he? Because letting people die just because you have a stereotyped view of necromancers is not 'good' in my book. Aren't good people supposed to be about understanding and forgiveness and shit?

Neutral Good, I think, possibly chaotic. He's a favoured soul of Bahamut.

2.) Why in the world are you guys even adventuring together? The guy more or less said he treats you as an enemy, just one he's holding back on "for now".

Because we escaped captivity together, I guess. What he really said is that, were I to use Lahm's Finger Darts, he'd over look the fact that I'm using an "obviously evil" spell, because I've done good for the party. This isn't much better, though...

3.) If he doesn't use restoration on you, kill him while he sleeps. Then animate his corpse. That'll learn him.

I'm thinking I'm actually just going to replace characters in my world view. If he won't use restoration on me after using LFD, I'll just take Leadership at sixth and have a drow cleric cohort (my wizard is a drow).

Prak_Anima wrote:

3.) If he doesn't use restoration on you, kill him while he sleeps. Then animate his corpse. That'll learn him.

I'm thinking I'm actually just going to replace characters in my world view. If he won't use restoration on me after using LFD, I'll just take Leadership at sixth and have a drow cleric cohort (my wizard is a drow).

Ooh! And since you both only meditate four hours a night, you can take turns taking watch so the other PC doesn't try something stupid.

The other PCs only meditate like two hours a night. They're a dragon fanboy race the DM wrote up for the world.

The sad thing is, this dragon fanboy race with energy resistance and detect magic at will is not dragon fanboy-y enough for the dragon pervert player of the group. (To be fair, I do not know whether he furiously masturbates to dragons. He just always goes for anything to do with dragons with his characters. I think the only reason he does not regularly play kobold sorcerer dragon disciples is because kobolds suck. As do, to some extent, sorcerers.)

If I was a cleric, I would be annoyed that you kept casting spells that tied up my spell slots to fix you. However I would tell you if you bought a restoration wand I would stop bitching. Last cleric I played made the party members buy their own damn CLW if they wanted me to heal them.

Meh, that would be fair, especially as restoration et al can't be spontaneously cast.it's honestly moot, because i wouldn't prep LFD more than once a day, can't fire more than one finger, and fingers lost to the spell regrow at the same rate you heal abili damage, ie, one a day.

Shrapnel wrote:I got quite a lot of money today as gift(s) from people(s). After a lot of thought, I've finally decided that I am going to by the Takara Encore Reissue of Fortress Maximus, and make it an idol/fetish that I will worship so as to increase my sexual performance and grades in college.

I was torn for a while between getting Fort Max, or doing something cool like going to LegoLand or buying a Howitzer to scare trees with. Ultimately, it was the fact that Fort has a giant red dot on his crotch, and that just spoke to me in a way that no giant red crotch dot has before.

So, now I just have to hold in my carnal urges and put off going to classes until April of next year, as that will be when my Giant Red Crotch Dot God(TM) arrives fills my life with dotty goodness.



...God, I need to get out more.

Anyway, I hope everyone had a merry Giftmas, and a hope y'all have a very tipsy New Year.

There is now a giant transformer toy which beats Fortress Maximus by 2", Metroplex. Granted, he doesn't have a red dot denoting crotch mounted weaponry or something, but it's bigger, and cheaper (because it's newer, and not a collector's item yet).

The new Metroplex is very intriguing. I am sure the usual 3rd parties will provide all necessary crotch accessories.

I feel like Cybertron would pretty much have to have a market for gun strap ons...

I think he'll be more excited about Blitzwing, given a certain infamous campaign on hiatus.

2' Metroplex is 2' of awesome though.

Prak_Anima wrote:

Shrapnel wrote:I got quite a lot of money today as gift(s) from people(s). After a lot of thought, I've finally decided that I am going to by the Takara Encore Reissue of Fortress Maximus, and make it an idol/fetish that I will worship so as to increase my sexual performance and grades in college.

I was torn for a while between getting Fort Max, or doing something cool like going to LegoLand or buying a Howitzer to scare trees with. Ultimately, it was the fact that Fort has a giant red dot on his crotch, and that just spoke to me in a way that no giant red crotch dot has before.

So, now I just have to hold in my carnal urges and put off going to classes until April of next year, as that will be when my Giant Red Crotch Dot God(TM) arrives fills my life with dotty goodness.



...God, I need to get out more.

Anyway, I hope everyone had a merry Giftmas, and a hope y'all have a very tipsy New Year.

There is now a giant transformer toy which beats Fortress Maximus by 2", Metroplex. Granted, he doesn't have a red dot denoting crotch mounted weaponry or something, but it's bigger, and cheaper (because it's newer, and not a collector's item yet).

Ho... ly... FUCK. WANT!

And they're releasing a fucking BLITZWING figure! And METROPLEX (again)! AND JUST HOLY FUCK THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPEND IN THE HISTORY OF EVER.

I think I just came.

Thank you, Prak. You have given me reason to live once more.

edit: Wait, I just noticed the other figures they're releasing... Stealth Bomber Megatron, Springer, Trailcutter*, Orion Pax, Bumblebee... They're all the IDW versions!! FUCKING SWEET!

*It's actually Trailbreaker, but the changed it to "-cutter" due to legal reasons. At least they didn't name him "Trailblaster"

Last edit, I swear!

This image came to mind when I saw the toy:



The prospect of free stickers brings Metroplex to life, and the Quintessons are none too happy about it.

Not having to spend any money on someone who isn't me tomorrow is pretty cool, actually. Even when I was dating someone, I hated VD day. (Always felt lop-sided, i had to give all these expensive and pointless gifts to people, never got anything in return. And according to the women I've dated, a woman that has sex with you because of what day it is and because you gave them gifts is a whore anyway.)

Still, I'm staying indoors all day. I've had enough clingy, desperate women stalk me in my day and I like my life how it is right now: with a minimum of complications.

I just got accepted to my major, which is fantastic. I am now an official multiclass Biologist/Engineer.

So, you're going to hook us up with cheap cybernetics, right?

Prak_Anima wrote:So, you're going to hook us up with cheap cybernetics, right?

Yes. Would you rather have laser eyes or a fourteen inch dick first?

14" laser dick.

RobbyPants wrote:14" laser dick.

So you can pee your name in steel?

violence in the media wrote:

RobbyPants wrote:14" laser dick.

So you can pee your name in steel?

Exactly. And 14" eyes seemed like a stupid request.

...You Lost Me wrote:

Prak_Anima wrote:So, you're going to hook us up with cheap cybernetics, right?

Yes. Would you rather have laser eyes or a fourteen inch dick first?

I'll take the laser eyes because that's something I don't have already.

I'll take the laser eyes, because Count has taught us all how much having a giant dick actually sucks. I think 10" is about the absolute maximum for actual usability.

...on the other hand... Count, have you tried posting on CL to find size queens that actually want to try taking a giant phallus, and then you can dump on the curb and never speak to again?